I met her in March. She was giving away a book I so desperately wanted to read. And I have this thing where I don’t try to win something on a site I know I won’t visit later, so I spent time on her blog. Reading her heart spilled. I soon discovered our journeys have collided more than once.
She has become a friend since (and I even won the giveaway!). I’m so thrilled to share her heart with you here today.
Friends, please give Mary a warm welcome. Mary, this space is yours. Do share!
Every good and perfect gift is from above,
coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights,
who does not change like shifting shadows.
It is easy for me to think the Lord is blessing me when “good and perfect” things are happening in my life. Or maybe “good and almost perfect” things, since few things seem to be “perfect” these days.
But what about the times when things are not going well?
What about the times when life looks pretty bleak?
When the whole thing just STINKS?
Are those times also gifts from the Father above? Is the author and creator of those times also steadfast and unchangeable?
I think so. But getting to this poinst in my faith/life journey was and is a process.
In 1992, I gave birth to a daughter that lived four days. She was born with a genetic disorder and when shew as born she appeared to be a healthy baby girl, but within hours, problems began to surface. She was taken to the local children’s hospital, while I remained in a hospital in another part of town.
Genetic tests were done. And we waited. After being born on Tuesday, Friday morning found my husband and me sitting in a conference room with a bunch of doctors, listening to them explain what was wrong with our daughter.
Listening to them explain that she would not live. She was going to die. Most likely in the next few days or weeks. The little girl we named Amy Elizabeth would not be with us for long. And I stared straight ahead. I didn’t want to look at any0ne.
That afternoon, surrounded by family and a few close friend, Amy took her last breath and died in my arms. She didn’t live a few days or weeks. She died that day.
Four days after she was born – she was dead.
Four days after I labored and my husband watched as the doctor cut me open. And delivered a tiny, petite baby girl – she was gone.
And I am OK with that.
I believe He authored that chapter of my life and continues writing my story to this day.
I’ve heard it said that having kids changes your perspective. I believe that is true.
And losing a child changes it again.
Losing Amy is the hardest thing I have ever endured. And while I wish that she had lived and we had experienced the first day of kindergarten, Junior High School, braces, homecoming, prom and going off to college…I did not get my wish.
If I had to choose between having her for four days or having her for none…I would choose four days in a heartbeat! I would endure the sadness, the tears, the anger, the grief…all of it…I would endure it again to have.
Because the experience of
having her and losing her
makes me who I am.
It is part of my life’s DNA.
Without it, I would not be ME.
My family would be incomplete.
My relationship with my husband and son would not be what they are today.
Blessings come in all shapes and sizes. Blessings come in the good and what appears to be bad. Blessings come in raindrops and rainbows. In packages and bows. In the ugly and the messy. And they come in sad and heartbreaking life lessons.
Lessons that allow us to grow.
To share with others.
To realize the most important things in life are not things!
My guess is you have some unpleasant or sad circumstances in your life too. Is it possible these circumstances are blessings in disguise? Only you can answer that.
And only you can decide how you will respond.
Happiness is a choice. And forgiveness is a choice.
I chose to be happy – it took a while, but I had a four year-old and a husband that needed me. At first, I was going through the motions, but eventurally the Lord led me out of the dark place into His light.
Into a place where I could see that He had a plan.
He knew what He was doing.
And this experience was a blessing…in disguise.
If you would like to read more about Amy, you can do that HERE.
Laura Story wrote and sings a beautiful song about blessings and how they don’t appear to be blessings at the time. This sums up how I feel.
(Subscribers, CLICK HERE to listen to this wonderful song)
Mary was raised in the south, spent most of her adult life in the Midwest and now resides on the East coast.
She has been married to her best friend for 30 years and has one young adult son. She blogs about life and faith at Me Myself & Mercy.
She works part-time as an Administrative Assistant at a local Division 1 college and is an Independent Consultant with Blessings Unlimited. She is active in her church and has a heart for ministering to women.
How about you, friend? Have you had blessings in disguise? What trials have shaped your story? We’d love to hear.
Thanks for sharing your time with