My Everything

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We’re all born with a void hidden deep within. A deep hole that subconsciously aches to be filled. Most of us in pure desperation take the solution upon ourselves. By any means presented to us. And sometimes we think we succeed only to realize the feeling of fullness was temporary.

Our desperation leaves us feeling empty. Lost. Incomplete.

Friends, may I tell you something I’m starting to realize?

Jesus is comfortable with incomplete.

Why, look at the way He left His disciples here on earth: Feeling like failures and more helpless than they had ever been before.

I’m now certain this was a part of God’s ultimate plan because through the pain of failure we learn a valuable lesson:

Grace is sufficient. *                   

After some discovery, most of us realize what yearns to be there. We begin to feel this four letter word that makes the hurt go away.


And we long for it. Search for it. Sometimes sell ourselves short to obtain it. Only to realize what we found wasn’t what we were looking for. It seems this simple little word is more than we’re capable of mastering. Do you know why?

God IS love. **   

Friends, I need to share it in case someone doesn’t know. When we let Him in to our heart of hearts, He fills this aching hole we have within us –the one addictions feed off of. The very one He intentionally planted with our future in mind. He showers us with a Heavenly love we can’t even begin to comprehend.

Human love will always be a faint shadow of God’s love. Not because it is too sugary or sentimental, but simply because it can never compare from whence it comes. Human love, with all its passion and emotion is a thin echo of the passion/emotion love of Yahweh.”
~ Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel 

I have to believe I’m not the only one. I’m trusting we all on our Christian walk at one point or another feel that emptiness once again. The ache we once knew visiting us like the tide. And we wonder where God went.

It wasn’t until recently I realized what the void truly was.

Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. Ecclesiastes 3:11

The void is eternity. Our planned future. The one He wants to spend with us. You see, the seed of Heaven was planted in our hearts at conception.

We’ve been hard-wired for Heaven.

That’s the ache we feel in this world that’s not our home. It’s the ache of being one with Him, being one with Love. Of being Home.

So do we just live with it? That’s what I first thought but then I started remembering moments when I did feel whole. And I realized, He’s got a fix for this, too.

As we wait for complete communion, He offers to grace us with His love. With Him. He wants to take this time to water the seed He planted in us long before we drew our first breath. And watch the growth from that seed spread…

Friends, I’m starting to see the feeling of addiction as a gift. A gift to ensure we’ll keep coming back for more love. More of Him.

Oh how He loves us.

I now know when I start to feel that ache. When the pang of longing won’t go away, it’s because I haven’t taken enough time to soak Him in and pour Him right back out. (I John 4:7-21)

And I’m learning now nothing compares. I don’t want to fill myself up with anything else. For nothing else satisfies. Instead, I’m going to give Him more room. To grow in me. To nurture my soul. To watch me spread with His love.

Friends, I want Him to be my everything. And He’s accepted the challenge.

This post might feel all over the place for you. It does me. But I’m struggling with sharing everything on my heart lately and needed to start somewhere. I want to talk about this more. From various angles and share what He has placed on my heart lately. I hope you join me.

But for now, please enjoy this song that encapsulates this better than I ever could.

(Subscribers, CLICK HERE to listen in to one of my favorite worship songs that talks about this so well)

Your Love is Everything ~ Jesus Culture

How about you, friend? How do you deal with the void? How do you let Him fill you up? I’d love to hear.

Thanks for sharing your time with me.

Simply striving,



NOTE: I talked about this a bit before. If you’d like to read more, click HERE.

*  2 Corinthians 12:9
** I John 4:8, 9, 16

25 thoughts on “My Everything

  1. Oh, Nikki, it seems God has us on the same path. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately (days, weeks, months), so you’re speaking to me here. In fact, I wrote 2 posts last week to go on my blog this week. In my head, they were different topics. But when I reread them, I was surprised to see they both speak about going to Him & staying with Him! Obviously, God is bonking me on the head with a lesson here. LOL

    He is enough…the best is when it can be felt. But in the times when I don’t feel it, it is SO important to KNOW He is enough. For me, the knowing gets me though when I don’t feel it. And when I feel it, it re-enforces my knowing it. I’m talking in circles here, but I think the 2 are important.

    God has blessed us with human emotions (for some of us–me, He’s given more than our share. lol) I’m learning that knowing and feeling that He is with me and He is enough doesn’t mean I won’t still have my human emotions (sadness, loneliness, etc.), but running and clinging to Him gets me through them.

    Thank you friend!
    In Christ,

    • I’m so thrilled you shared, Laura. You don’t know how much it has blessed me! I’m so grateful He places others on a similar journey. Just proves once again — what a relational God we serve!

      Love your thoughts here and I agree wholeheartedly. It’s so important to repeat it over and over until it takes up residence in our inner crevasses so when the drought comes, we can still be quenched. And I do believe He’s always there with open arms…

      So grateful for you, Laura! Looking forward to reading your posts!

      All for Him with hugs to you,

  2. “we’ve been hard-wired for heaven” …YES! love this!!

    we sing a song at our church that echoes this message as well. its one of my favorites (although i seem to say that a lot!) 🙂 “you are everything” – brian doerksen

    incase there is someone who hasn’t heard this song, i’ll share the youtube link:

    i love what He’s been laying on your heart to share with us, nikk. can’t wait to read more!

    • What a beautiful song, Ginger! I feel like I’ve heard those lyrics before but not the melody…I’m going to have to let it permeate a bit as something hits me every time I hear it. You speak my language well… 🙂 Thank you for sharing it!!

      And so thrilled you’re on this journey with me, friend. Supporting me to the very end 😉

  3. Yes! He is enough. Although I long to feel His love, I want to know beyond a shadow of doubt that I am loved, despite how I feel. His love is the only thing that can fill this empty soul. I want to look into the face of God and see love! He’s teaching me how to abide, to get closer, and sometimes I get stubborn and want to go my own way. Looking forward to more of your posts on this!

    • You and Laura touched on something I hope to talk about soon, Barbie. The longing, feeling, vs knowing aspect. And I see He has us on a similar journey with learning how to abide. We could be great competitors in a stubborn contest I’m sure!! I have about 16 posts started on this very thing if you can believe it. Still praying for direction but plan on posting one each week. So grateful you’re here for the journey, friend. Thank you!

  4. Oh, Nikki. This is beautiful. I have seen addiction the same way. We are chasing after a feeling only Christ can give. I never looked at the apostles the way you explained (incomplete), but I see it now and you are so right. It was upon the filling of the Spirit that were made whole. Even then, they had to continually chase after him, setting their minds on spiritual things… not flesh. Oh girl, you have set me a thinkin’!

    • I can’t even tell you how excited I got to read your comment, Tereasa. I’ve been just aching to talk to someone about this whole perspective with the disciples! I have a post I’ll share soon that talks more about my thoughts, but you summed it up perfectly! It was the Holy Spirit’s arrival that completed the circle of completeness. And that circle is more fluid than we realize…

      Thanks for reading my ramblings, friend. You bless me so!

  5. “Hard-wired for heaven” says it all! And yet knowing that, I still feel empty sometimes, Nikki. I think we have to be empty to then be hungry, hungry for Him. You are such a gifted writer of faith and love and hope. I thank God for you each time I think of you. And that’s a lot! 🙂

    • You are so wise, Sherrey. Yes, I agree with you. I think it’s in Luke 7 where it says something like “If the forgiveness is minimal, the gratitude is minimal.” We need to see how far we’ve come and we need to realize how low we can go to really grasp the depths of His love. don’t you think? doesn’t make it fun, though! That empty creeps up on me when I least suspect it…

      Yet you know how to point me towards Him. So thankful for you!

  6. I love your heart! I am right there with you. Sometimes I think we have to go through seasons of dryness and wandering so that we would develop a thirst that only He can satisfy. His grace is sufficient. And you weren’t all over the place, unless I am too:)

  7. “For nothing else satisfies,” He is my everything. Oh Nikki I loved your thoughts in this post and I shall continue to ponder them. Beautiful songs also. Thank you and enjoy soaking in His grace this week!

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