I had made it with my own two hands in shop class. Didn’t matter what the temperature was in the house, it was always cool to the touch when I would stretch under to find it. Spray painted black and locked with a key was my safe place. The space that for my teenage self-consumed years, held my heart.
And I still remember it like it was yesterday, my 18th birthday. When I reached under my bed searching for something inside my secret box: the list of my 5 and 10 year goals. My dreams.
Reading them again in great detail, I concurred I wouldn’t change a thing. None of them seemed to scream “all for me”. I could even see how God’s glory might prevail in each one. And in my prayer time, I told Him as much.
Then I handed the list to Him and said for the first time in my life:
“Here, Lord. I give it to You. Have Your way with me.”
Friends, I wouldn’t know it then, but I do now. I witnessed grace right then and there as He crumpled up my papered dreams and handed me a new sheet. Not one wrinkle, crease or writing on it as far as I could see…
Fast forward 17 years and you’ll find me today as He reminds me of that moment. And I hear His whisper “Do you see? I may have crumpled your child-like dreams, but do you see how I have made them more beautiful?”
He’s right, you know. My life is nowhere near what I imagined it to be. It’s richer. And I see now how He has folded that piece of paper so intricately to make something beautiful out of me.
Somewhere along the way, He apprehended my heart with His compelling love.
And gave me wings to fly.
Somehow through the journey, He captivated my soul.
And fixed my face upon Him.
Some way only He can accomplish, He turned my world upside down.
And made me realize I am finally right-side up.
I’ve been in a scandalous love affair ever since.
Wanna know the biggest lesson I’ve learned through it all?
My heart doesn’t belong in a box tucked away neatly in a safe place. It’s not meant to live on my sleeve, either. My heart, the place I’ve let Him take up residence, is meant to be shared. Handed out freely to anyone willing to accept it in the manner intended.
Could I get hurt? No more than He has been.
Will I run out of something to give? Not if I keep letting Him fill me up again.
Does everyone deserve a piece of it? That’s where the gift comes in.
Guard your heart above all else,
for it determines the course of your life.
Proverbs 4:23 NLT
My heart warms while accepting the permission I have to protect myself. And my heart leaps out of my chest in joy over knowing the place where He resides determines the course of my life. It’s a joint effort. This love affair.
Friends, every time I lay my self down and give His love away, I gain another fold. I become one step closer to the one He has made me to be. And I have no idea what my shape will look like when He’s done but one thing I am certain: He’s the best origami artist there could ever be.
Thank you, Father, for another year of letting me witness what You can do through me. I’ve said it before and may I never stop: Here You go, Abba. Have Your way with me…
How about you, friend? How has He been folding you lately? How do you guard and still give your heart away? I’d love to hear.
Thanks for sharing your time with me.
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