April 17th ~ Our Day

Breath escapes me when I see my reflection. It’s my 9-year-old self, playing this day with friends. This was it. The day every girl dreams of at one time or another. And here I was, draped in white satin, laced in pearls, awaiting you.

Questions abound as my inner child grasps for reality. Does he really know what he’s getting into? It feels too good to be true, so isn’t it? Look at me, I’m just a child. Why is He blessing me with you? I don’t deserve this. Does God really love me this much?

Dad accepts my arm proudly as we start our long venture, both trying to match pace. All eyes focused on me and my knees can hardly stand it. It’s your gaze that keeps me upright. Making me want to pick up speed.

The crinkled runner has finally ended. I breathe slow, catching the scent of lilacs held. And as I stand between your parents and mine, waiting to be given away, your pooled eyes reflect I’m not alone. You feel the same way. Never have we known such love.

Oh how He loves us.

Your strong hand encompasses mine, squelching any dangles of doubt. And we dive head first into love. Vowing to walk each other home as long as God allows. Every evening since, we have sealed it the same way: With a kiss.

Nine years later to the day. Your familiar hand surrounds mine once again. And yet it feels different. I look down and see what is holding you back. We learn it becomes difficult to squelch out fear with an IV in the way.

My inner child returns with more questions. Does God really feel we’re ready for this? Am I good enough to be entrusted with such a blessing? Look at me, I’m just a child, laboring to have one of my own. Do I have enough to give? Am I spreading love too thin?

But soon his strong cry encompasses my heart, squelching any dangles of doubt. And you and I dive head first into love again. Praising our Father along the way.

They take our son to the other side of the room and your hand doesn’t want to leave mine. Our eyes meet and we both know. God has blessed us with enough. Never have we known such love.

Oh how He loves us.

I make it easy on you, asking you to go to him. For me. And I witness you welcoming our firstborn. He knows you right away, even the nurses can tell. And me, well I can hardly breathe.

For 13 years now, this has been our day. The day to celebrate our choice to share the road home. God surprised us with a son on the same day 9 years later and we couldn’t agree more. There is no better way to celebrate our love.

Karen Sunde wrote “To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven.” And I know it to be true. For I see my home in you. I gain a bigger perspective of heaven in our son’s eyes. And I know we have received but a glimpse of what our second son already knows.

Thank you for holding my hand. Thank you for walking alongside me. Thank you for being the father my sons deserve.

I’ll dive head first with you anytime. For now I know…

Oh how He loves us.

And oh, how I love you.

36 thoughts on “April 17th ~ Our Day

  1. um, Nikki? This is beautiful, and I have felt your heart here more than I ever have. I think this is my favorite thing I’ve read of yours, and for a place that leads with such light, that is saying a lot. blessings on this, the best of days.

  2. Wow….what a beautiful post! I so enjoyed reading this, thank you. Happy Anniversary & Happy bday to your boy. Blessings and thanks for linking up to iFellowship!
    I’m visiting you as Seeds of Faith, MomKaboodle & WebHelperGal. =)

    • Thank you, Steph! iFellowship is such a blessing as I get to meet wonderful bloggers like you! I’m going to have to spend some time over on WebHelperGal as I haven’t a clue what I’m doing =) (I haven’t even been blogging 6 months yet)

    • Thank you, Emily. Sometimes I wonder…will I ever really learn this lesson? Can we really grasp how deep and wide His love is for us? I kinda hope not…for I’m growing fond of discovering a bit more daily.
      Hugs to you, friend!

  3. this is a beautiful post…our love of another because of our love of god…that makes all the difference in the world you know…i hope you have a wonderful anniversary…

  4. Oh, I love this. My husband and I have always felt that those first few hours and days with our firstborn were as intimate and as bonding and as sacred as our honeymoon. Thank you for sharing part of your special celebration here. Still holding hands. So beautiful. And Happy Anniversary! πŸ™‚

  5. Pingback: Together ~ Five Minute Friday « simplystriving

  6. Pingback: The Fruit of Joy « simplystriving

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