Deny No More

And immediately the rooster crowed the second time.
Suddenly, Jesus’ words flashed through Peter’s mind:
‘Before the rooster crows twice,
you will deny three times that you even know me.’
And he broke down and wept.
Mark 14:72 NLT

I must admit, I’m certain I’ve read this while inserting an eye-roll. Because he had been warned, face-to-face, hours before. Peter had insisted he would do no such thing, and yet, well we know what happened.

Maybe I’m the only one, but I’ve often wondered how the disciples (Peter especially since he was a bit favored) could have messed up as much as they did. I mean, they were able to look into the face of God. Doesn’t that make it easier to believe?!? (John 20:29 comes to mind)

The story of Peter’s betrayal was the last thing I read before bed the other night. And by the time the rooster of my husband’s alarm rang the next morning, I knew.

I’ve done it, too.
In fact, I’ve denied Him more than three times.
I’m so ashamed…

  • When I argue and show God excuses as to why it wouldn’t be a good idea to do what He’s asked of me, I deny Him.
  • When I post something about Him on my personal Facebook page and make it visible to only my “church friends,” I deny knowing Him.
  • When I sat in the lunchroom and overheard conversations with a plethora of open opportunities to share my faith, I betrayed Him.
  • I haven’t even told all of my acquaintances I blog about Him.  Haven’t even given them a chance to respond.

I have never felt more like Peter. Why, I make him look good. For as far as we know, he never made the same mistake again. And he was facing death. Not by dying of embarrassment like myself, no. Actual we’re-going-to-need-another-cross kind of death.

Father, I’m here again, bending low, begging for your forgiveness.
And I’m asking You to provide the strength
and courage I need to proclaim You boldly.

In fact, I’m ready to begin.

I’m getting rid of my “church friends” list on Facebook. But I will continue to post those statuses. And as soon as I figure out a way to not look spammy, I will let my entire friend list know I write this little blog called Simplystriving. I’ll let them know I’m not perfect, but am striving to live the way He made me to be.

And for you, my dear readers, whom I cherish. I beg of your forgiveness, too. Please know I will strive to share things God has asked me to that I’ve previously shrugged off. Because no worldly embarrassment compares to the realization that I’ve denied Him.

When I say I’m ready to be used by Him during my morning prayer time, I’m going to add the word “fully.” Completely. All of me is what I will offer. No reservations. Nothing off-limits. No change backs.

How about you? Have you denied Him? How do you avoid being a Peter? I’d love to hear.

Thanks for sharing your time with me.

Simply striving,

Nikki

NOTE: This post is an addition to what God has shown me during my personal Lenten journey this year. You can catch up on my other posts HERE.

FOR MY FACEBOOK FRIENDS: WELCOME! Yes, it’s me. I’m so sorry it’s taken me 5 months to invite you here. Please let me know you stopped by so I can share what’s on my heart with you.

Linking with:
 and 

Advertisements

36 thoughts on “Deny No More

  1. My Lord helped me to realize that I took pride in a request from a family member this week instead of pointing them to Jesus. I was later so ashamed and thankful that Jesus is always willing to forgive us of our failings. What a wonderful Savior we have in Christ. To God be all the glory!
    Joy

  2. Dear Nikki,

    Love your bold heart for Him and how You let Him take you to ask the hard questions. I’ve been encouraged that the Bible puts in the story of Peter because it reminds me that they are still human and imperfect like me. It gives me hope that Jesus gives 2nd chances, and then some when one is truly repentant as Peter clearly was. Hugs to you, brave friend 🙂

    • Thank you so much, Dolly. I am far from brave, but you’re right. It is encouraging to know I’m not the only one. Even those we hold high falter. So blessed by 2nd chances! I’m also thankful He sees my heart…and that He thinks I’m worth refining. As long as He doesn’t give up on me, I’ll keep striving. Cuz He’s worth it! 🙂 Hugs to you, too, friend!

  3. Very honest, and if the rest of us are “as honest” we can admit to the same kinds of failings. We’ve all been a “peter” at one time or another…probably many times! 🙂

    Really glad to have found your blog…some great posts here!

  4. Nikki . . . love that you shared this here today. I too hide my blog from so many, and wondering just how to “debut” it on Facebook. Would love to chat about this sometime . . .

  5. Well Ms. Nikki …
    What a great post for Passion Week. Definitely heart-rending to think about times you may have denied Christ. Thank God He is faithful in His grace, mercy and forgiveness. I think your plans going forward are spot-on and I too am searching out my denial …
    May your Easter be blessed beyond measure,
    Felecia

    • Always love your encouragement, Felecia. Thank you! What grace He bestows upon even the biggest peter offenders…
      I know you’ve been having some wonderful Passion week posts as well. Will be stopping by soon!
      May you find a way to connect closer to the One who took your place this Easter, Felecia. Blessings!
      all for Him,
      Nikki

  6. I love Peter because I am so much like him. Yet Jesus loved him and was merciful toward him. Just as he is to me. Thanks for sharing your heart and being transparent about how God is working in and through you. Blessings!

    • Thank you so much Christina. Me and my thick skull…can’t believe it took this long to realize how similar I am to Peter as well! It sure is hard exposing raw skin on the world wide web…but He did so much more for me. I pray it brings Him a bit of glory — despite myself ; )
      May you have a blessed Easter, friend!

  7. I’ve denied him too, Nikki. It’s so wrong and yet I’ve not given it a thought many times. Your willingness to change this and admit this unflattering look at your heart is encouraging and endearing. Thanks for this encouragement–to let our faith be a broadcast instead of whispered.

    • Thank you, Beth, for sharing with me and making me feel less alone in this. Striving with you to broadcast and not whisper. He’s showing me I have my own multitude to show Christ to right here in my own li’l life. I don’t need to do anything or be anything more than what He has made me to be right here where I’m at. Still…easier said than done it seems. Which makes your encouragement mean so much to me. thank you!

  8. Well, I read this already but I must have commented in my head! 🙂 I think perhaps I have grown into this and people know me for my faith, its always been that way. But maybe that isn’t great because maybe I am surrounded by more of the same. A healthy dose of fear in putting yourself out there is a good thing. And I hope you see the gift you will give to your FB friends. It’s where most of my readers come from. Thanks for being honest Nikki, I know that took some courage to press publish! It’s a good thing.

    • Thank you, Shelly. I don’t doubt for one minute everyone that calls me friend knows I am a Christian. That my faith is found in Him. Yet I know full well I haven’t shared enough of what that means to me. Why that’s the very reason my heart beats every day. For Him. I need to change that. Thank you for giving me encouragement to do just that! Hugs to you, friend!

  9. Oh, how often I do this as well! So quick to hide my faith, so swift at turning my head when I don’t like what I’m seeing, so scared of being identified with the Son of God when it means experiencing pain.

    I am just like Peter as well.

    And I am thankful for a God who redeems repentant hearts.

  10. I’ve been denying him with my STUPID words! Negativity. I wrote about it. I have to get think before I speak… blessings, not curses. Excellent post. Have a wonderful day 🙂

  11. Yes! This is bold and encouraging. I know God will meet you out on that limb you’re walking for Him. 😉

I can't wait to hear from you...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s