Through Eyes of Grace

The words roll off my tongue like I’ve asked them many times. As if I use this question in all of my normal one-on-one encounters. Truth was I had never asked this of anyone before. Not even from myself. Yet here I was, sharing these words with someone I wasn’t yet calling friend:

“So, if I were to ask Jesus to describe you,
what do you think He’d say?”

And the instant it fell from my lips I regretted it. For the look on her face was all I needed to know I’d stepped outside the normal comforts of chit-chat. What was I thinking? She wasn’t ready for that and neither was I.

That moment was a memory I had tucked away deep down for safe keeping, never intending to pull it out again. It was almost forgotten…until she emailed me to tell me she was ready to answer the question I had backpedaled over some time ago.

I’m sure my friend would be more than willing to share her answer for you here. I was going to ask her to do just that. For it is brilliant and in my opinion, a spot on depiction of her. But that voice just behind my ear, the one I feel down deep into my chest won’t let me. It seems I now need to return the favor. I need to answer the question myself.

Let me tell you, looking at yourself through eyes of grace does not come easy. It’s even harder for someone who prefers not to talk about herself, let alone in the 3rd person.

While trying, I realized I really didn’t want to see myself with His perfect vision. I was scared with what I would find. That there really wasn’t much to say… Which is exactly why I have to try.

So, if we were able to hear Jesus describe me; Deep down in the place we don’t bring up in normal chit-chat, this is what I feel He’d say:

My bride Nikki? She’s my beloved. I love her so…
Her heart bleeds compassion,
though she is hesitant to accept it when it’s returned.
Joy comes easy to her when she slows down enough
to look through those sparkling eyes of hers.

She can find beauty in the most obscure things…I love that!
When she lets Me help her, she can be as patient as they come.
Graciously pouring love and forgiveness on those around her.
Her passion pours through her fingers when she plays piano.
I could sit and listen to her play for hours.
And sometimes I do, when she takes the initiative to invite me.
What she tries to pass off as strong will is merely a struggle with self-doubt.
But we’re working on it. And lately, she’s been perceptive.
Oh, she has her Father in her.
I can see His traits when she submits to being who she was made to be.
And when I see her like that, it makes everything worthwhile.
You see, I’d die to save her.
In fact, I did.
And for Nikki? I’d do it all over again.
She’s worth it.
She’s the love of my life.

Friends, I’m struggling with sharing this with you. But this exercise is worth being embarrassed over. I’m sure I don’t have it right–what He would say of me. And that’s okay, I can keep striving. For now, I’ve received but a glimpse of how much He loves me through it, with His eyes of grace. And I so want you to have that, too.

How about you? Will you give it a try? What would Jesus say about you? I’d love to hear.

Thanks for sharing your time with me.

Simply striving,

Nikki

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32 thoughts on “Through Eyes of Grace

  1. Wow, what a question and your were much more brave than I would be. Your courage gives me legs to stand on Nikki, and I will have to pray and ponder that one. It is often more easy to say what He would say about someone else than what he would say about me. Great post!

    • So true, Shelly! It’s so much easier to talk about someone else! But I’m striving to change that because I’m finding that means I don’t love myself enough, with a humble heart, to share all of me with others… Still, it’s soooo hard! Which makes your kind words soothing to my raw skin. Thank you so much, friend.

  2. Oh, Nikki…not sure I want to go there. I’ll have to think about this! Thanks for the encouragement, though. I love that you were brave enough to answer!

    You won my giveaway, please send me your mailing address.

    • Thank you for stopping by today, Mary! And I’m with you…I didn’t want to go there, either. It’s worth thinking about, though–really! (and I’m not brave…I’m still shaking in my boots) ; )

      So excited I won your giveaway! And to my readers wondering — here is Mary’s blog she’s referring to: CLICK HERE

  3. Yes, Nikki, so proud of you for asking and listening for His answer…I did this before, but I probably need to do it again as God is always showing me new things…and I’m like you, it is hard to look at myself with grace…it has been a long journey…love & hugs to you 🙂

    • Thank you so much, Dolly. I nearly emailed you last night as I was fretting over this post. It was a good thing I didn’t have your phone number handy! 😉 Something told me you’ve done this before. What an eye-opening exercise! Thanks for making my journey lighter, friend. love your hugs! 🙂

  4. what an incredible gift! to pause and reflect on yourself through His eyes…thank you Father for helping Nikki view herself as you truly see her. Lord you know that so many of us women struggle with negative self-images…how that must pain you…so i thank you for giving Nikki the courage to gaze upon herself and then share this with the world. the words You gave her will change lives as others (myself included) take on this challenge of wiping away the layers of lies to see ourselves reflected in Your mirror of grace. and i pray that once we are able to catch but a glimpse of the beauty you see, that that would make us yearn for more of You….

  5. Nikki, this is so beautiful – thank you for being transparent and vulnerable to share these most intimate, precious, true words. How I desire and long to daily listen to His Words, His heart, and His truth – in contrast to the lies that the enemy throws at us constantly. Thank you for your example of listening to Him.

    • It’s funny, Cherry, because I initially thought this exercise would take my eyes off of Him and put them back on myself. I was wrong, though. For I can’t wonder what He would think without thinking and listening to Him!
      So encouraged by your kind words. Thank you so much!

  6. “Wow, I can honestly say I’ve never thought about this before. What would Jesus say about me? How would He describe me? I don’t know. But I have a feeling I’ll be thinking about it now…and for some time. 🙂 Absolutely a beautifully written post Nikki!”

  7. Oh, how He loves! Beautiful…. 🙂
    I love that verse in Psalms 45 where it says “The king is enthralled with your beauty; honor Him for He is your life.” — Most days I can’t imagine anyone being “enthralled” with my mess, but He sees me clothed in Christ. So thankful!

  8. When I’m dealing with a rebellious student, a little voice inside says, “Is this how Jesus sees you?” I usually think of Him dwelling on all the negative. And that’s scary. I have to remind myself that He sees me through the blood of His Son and that He cherishes me. Thanks for stirring many thoughts in me today and for being brave to share this post, Nikki. Blessings!

  9. Hey Nikki I’m stopping in through Write it Girl. I love this post. So beautiful the way you wrote it. Honest and vulnerable.
    I love “joy comes easy enough when she slows down”

    Oh that is me! So true!

    Thanks for sharing:)

    • Thank YOU for stopping by and sharing with me, Aubrey! Your kind words bless me so. Did you write a Write it, Girl post this week? I must have missed it. If you have a blog I can visit, I would love the link.
      Thanks again!
      All for Him,
      Nikki

  10. Do not feel even one tiny bit embarrassed about that!! It was beautiful! And I have a feeling His words would be fairly similar to those…you see, Jesus sees in us the good that most times, we are unwilling to see in ourselves. Beautiful! That part about what He would say about you made me cry 🙂 I’m listening now, trying to hear what He would say of me…

    • Thank you so much, Megan. I’m thrilled you stopped by! Thank you so much for your kind, encouraging words. Yes, He does see our potential — one thing I love about Him 😉
      So glad you’re listening and thinking about what He would say of you!
      All for Him,
      Nikki

  11. Pingback: WWJS {About You}?

  12. Hi – I’m visiting for the first time from Mandy’s blog. This is such a brave and great exercise. I love that you asked your friend that question, too, even when it was a risk and that God has taken that question and changed all of us. I think I want to take the plunge and sit with Jesus and ask what He’d say about me… It’s hard to talk about ourselves, isn’t it?! I’m glad I clicked over here today. 🙂

    • Kim, I’m so thrilled you stopped by! I’m honored to meet you and am hoping you do take the challenge! It changed my perspective completely as I finally realized we could see His face through ourselves. It IS so hard to talk about ourselves that way! but worth it…so worth it.
      All for Him with hugs to you,
      nikki

  13. Pingback: Confessions of a Raging Perfectionist {From Someone Who Didn’t Think She Was} | simplystriving

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