It came slow. Steady. The voice was small at first. Gradual. I would hear it faintly through reading His Word. In-between my husband’s sentences. Through my toddler’s eyes. During prayer. In a blog post here and there. Not one resource of mine did God leave out. He used them all to speak to me. To answer my prayer and show me what I needed to lay down at the cross this year.
And I’ll never forget that moment. The instant I realized I was standing in front of Him fully exposed. Completely ashamed of these layers revealed. The ones I had concealed so well I’d forgotten I had them.
Having my sinful-self exposed to His light stung. I wanted nothing more than to run to a dark corner and hide. Pick up my comfortable layers and pretend this never happened.
But it was what I had asked for. I wanted Him to help me become less so He could fill more of me. It wasn’t until now, however, that I realized how much less I needed to become. And when He asked me to let go I began to see how self-absorbed I was. How much I cling to things familiar. Easy. Painless.
He’s right, though.
I have broken one of the Ten Commandments.
I might have broken two.
The awakening happened in stages. First with reading His Word. The small observation I couldn’t get out of my head. The same one I finally blogged a question about. The very question my sweet friend, Dolly, answered in comments.
It was my toddler God used to finally open my eyes. When my boy asked me what “the day of rest” meant and why I didn’t have to do it, I knew.
I’m no better than the Israelites. I’ve broken the Sabbath.
God has said it time and time again —
nothing is so important we have to do it 7 days.
God has asked time and time again —
would we please take one day out of our lives and focus on Him?
Father, forgive me, I know not what I do…
No, that’s not true. I didn’t know because I wasn’t looking.
I wasn’t abiding by this Commandment because it was easier. It’s convenient to spread out my cleaning duties into 7 days. Sure I spend Sundays with my family. At a more relaxed pace. Yes I worship Jehovah with a church family. But I still spend my free time at the computer instead of with Him. I still busy myself with miscellaneous tasks on my ever-growing to-do list. Seven days a week.
Lord, I hear You now. Jesus, I’m so sorry this sin was put on You. I am bending low, asking for grace once again.
This is what I will do:
I will intentionally take a day off each week. Off of Social Media. Blogging. Cleaning. Running Errands.
And spend it with my Redeemer and family instead.
But God didn’t stop there. He wasn’t done showing me layers I needed to peel back.
And I won’t stop at Easter.
These old habits are being left at the cross.
This will become my lifestyle.
Friends, this is only the beginning. The introduction to what God has shown me on my Lenten Journey. And I must confess I didn’t want to post it. I’m not used to being so raw to new friends, old family, people I don’t even know.
If it’s okay with you, I plan on revealing a few more things He’s shown me. Layers I need to peel. With His help, I’ll be able to stand at the cross this Easter unashamed, shining in grace. Newly molded.
How about you? What has God been showing you as of late? What layers are you peeling back? I’d love to hear.
Thanks for sharing your time with me.