I don’t think she knew what she was in for. When she entered my life as my newest friend. One who lives states away. I may never have an opportunity to meet her in person, but I’ve decided to not let that stop me. I will strive to ensure she knows the real me.
This was my first time trusting someone with knowing. Knowing my greatest fear. The one that holds me back the most. I had never told anyone before and found myself confessing to her so freely. This new friend of mine.
I clicked send before I could take back the words I spilled. The ones that have never seen the light of day –only the depths of my soul.
I fear I’m not enough.
I worry I’m not enough for my family. My friends. My King. What if I can’t meet their expectations? What if I fail miserably and let them down? What if I bruise their heart with my faults?
What if God asks me to do something and I completely blow it?
I’m confident in saying He has never ever let me down. But I’m quite sure that’s not true of me.
Then I read this:
“What does the Lord your God require of you?
He requires only that you fear the Lord your God,
and live in a way that pleases Him,
and love Him and serve Him with all your heart and soul.”
Deuteronomy 10:12 NLT
And I realize. He has my fear covered.
God doesn’t require I be enough. He is. And He sees my heart. My intents. My passions.
I may fail miserably at trivial things sometimes. Mistakes may often be my middle name. But I can show my reverence for God through worship. I can live the way He asks me to live. And I’m striving to love and serve Him with all of my heart and soul.
Yes, this I can do. I can be enough. For I’ve got the only things God requires of me covered.
To Him, I’m more than enough.
How about you? What are your fears? What holds you back the most? I’d be honored if you’d share.
Thanks for sharing your time with me.