The Journey of Discovery

NOTE: I probably should have titled this “What’s Not to Love Part II.” If you didn’t read the previous post, you can CLICK HERE to fully understand the basis for this post.

Morning light floods my room. Those blinds may hold the night out, but they cannot contain the day. Why didn’t I add a window treatment to aid in this effort? Note to self…

I stumble out of bed and begin my morning routine, my evening conversation with my Redeemer still heavy on my mind. He wants me to love myself. This is something I have avoided my entire life and am sure it was on purpose. For the line of loving and vanity is fine and something I never wanted to jump around.

My Savior and I talked long about this. I am one who needs to see the importance of it — more of the big picture as to why it is a necessity before I can plunge forward. And I just couldn’t understand why loving myself was the issue when my ultimate goal was to love Him and understand why He loved me. I liked myself okay. Wasn’t that enough?

I knew all the verses He kept reminding me of. I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:13-14). My body is a temple (I Cor 6:19-20). To Him, I am worth loving. I get that and appreciate it more than words can say. But why is it so important for me to love myself in return?

~~~~~~~~~~

My daily race is now in full swing. I know this routine well. The race to tame my unruly cowlicks. My mind travels back to the salon. It happens every time, it should come as no surprise. The stylist insisting all her co-workers come look at my thick hair. At her scissors worn dull because of it. And the comments that follow while styling it dry. “Wow, you have a lot of cowlicks!”

Yes, yes, this is something I know well. I have years of experience and have learned how to control them when given the opportunity.

And I smile wide when I realize my head-of-hair matches my personality to a ‘T’.

Optimistically full of potential.
With flares of stubbornness hidden within.
That, at times, need a gentle yet firm hand to control.

And I laugh out loud while noticing God’s sense of humor.

Whether He did that intentionally while making me doesn’t matter. This funny quirk I have is mine, a gift from my Jehovah and I love Him for it.

And there it is. The light bulb moment. I get it. I may be stubborn and take longer than others at times, but now I see.

The more I love me, the more I can see Him and His love for me.

He’s the artist that designed me after all. He’s the Mastermind behind my cowlicks and substantial follicles.

And I love that.
I love how He loves me. Oh how He loves me.

Yes, Father. I get it. I’m Your original masterpiece. I will make no excuses for what set me apart. They are what define me. I can use all of them, all of me, for Your glory and will spend my life here learning how.

And that is something I can fall in love with.
This journey of discovering Him through me.

Yes. Exactly. What’s not to love.

How about you? What’s one thing you have learned to love about yourself? And because I’m curious, how does your hair match your personality? I’d love to hear.

Thanks for sharing your time with me.

Simply striving,

Nikki


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20 thoughts on “The Journey of Discovery

  1. Lovely, thoughtful post. My HAIR? Erm, let’s see. Layered and straight. Yeah, that’s pretty much me. Very layered personality, like an onion. And straight. Yes. I’m definitely straight. LOL! 😉

  2. how fun! i love that God spoke to you through your cowlicks!! 😀 i know He knows the number of hairs on my head, but never gave any thought to the fact that He placed every little color and cowlick swirl…and that it could reflect my personality. lets see…my hair…well, there’s NO curl to this hair. and so is true with my personality…pretty straightforward. and i have one of those faces that goes with most hairstyles….and personally i am very much the same way. growing up i didn’t have any specific group i hung out with…i was able to blend in and get along well with everyone. interesting. thanks for the fun things to ponder!

    as for things i’m learning to love…the one that stands out most to me is my voice. as you already know, i’ve played piano and sang most of my life, but always had trouble accepting them as true talents/gifts. i thought they were just something i enjoyed. well, in the past few years i’ve been the co-worship leader at my church. i play and, now, sing practically every week. it took a long time for our leader to coax me out of my shell…but he did….and ever so carefully. i used to get so hung up on every note (that pesky perfectionism) and would beat myself up so much…but as i was continually encouraged i learned to start letting go. and before i knew it, our leader was asking me to sing harmonies, and then do a special here and there, and now just this past week he took the week off and had me lead the whole deal. God has brought me a LONG way. i’ve accepted the fact that He gave me these gifts and all i can do is offer them back in praise and thanksgiving! and the more i hand over these gifts, the more He blesses me. i no longer fret over notes and i sing boldly as i lead those in my church family into worship. i still have a hard time accepting praise/compliments, but i am learning to love my voice….as HE does. 🙂

    • Oh, Ginger, I’m so thrilled to hear this! Thank you so much for sharing. I know your voice well and have full confidence you’re doing an amazing job. To God be the glory!
      You just sing like He’s the only one in the room. He’ll take care of the rest. 😉
      proud of you.

      And yes– your hair is your personality to a ‘T’, too! love it!

  3. Don’t worry, stylists always make a big deal about my thick hair, too. 🙂 My hair personality, hmm… “Straight and boring” was my first thought, and then I thought I probably shouldn’t write that. But after I thought about it, I realized it’s actually pretty perfect. I’m steady and don’t veer from the norm much. And that is probably why my hair IS boring! I don’t ever go to the salon to get it cut!!! I am afraid of too much change. Also, the idea of sitting in the chair for an extended period of time having to make small talk mortifies me. I hate awkward small talk. Wow, I never knew my personality was so tangled up in my hair! (See what I did there? haha)

    As for learning to love things about myself. I’ve been learning lately to love who I am. I am trying to focus on the gifts God’s given me and how he wants me to use them to help others. I used to HATE my introverted personality, always thinking that the extroverts were surely having all the fun and friends. But I’m starting to embrace the truth that my personality fits perfectly with the people God’s placed in my life to encourage.

    Ok, I’m typing and typing… Oops!

    • Oh I love it! thanks for sharing!
      (fyi–I get my hair cut twice a year. only because I get too hot if I don’t! and I’m so not a fan of the small talk. most of the stylists I’ve seen want to talk television shows I’ve never seen or music groups I’ve never heard. makes me feel so old! haha)
      So thrilled to hear you’re learning to love who you are. What a beautiful display of praise you’re giving Him with that!
      To God be the glory!

  4. Thank you for sharing this part of your journey. I am truly blessed just by reading it. Yes, my hair reflects my personality very much! It is red and fine, wavy to the point of unruly and if I try to cover it up with too much stuff it just gets dull. I am fiery and still sensitive, I do not handle being tamed or contained very well and I do not like to be covered up in lots of make- up in the physical or labels/masks in the not-physical realms. 🙂 I am learning that I need to learn to love myself. From there, I will have to give you updates as I figure them out! 🙂 Praise God that He loves us even when we can’t figure out why!

    • Oh, thank you so much for sharing, Jamie! Yes, this loving-me thing has been quite the adventure. Trust you will find your way on the journey, too!
      (and I tried to comment on your blog, but am guessing I went into your spam — sorry!)

      Thanks for stopping by! Please come again soon!

      • I looked in the spam and it is not there! 😦 I know some sites have not been saving comments on the first try for the last couple of days. I hope mine is not one of them! Thank you for the visit though! 🙂 I will definately stop by often!

  5. Your cowlick story made me chuckle…my hair is straight except when I curl it slightly…and layered – I guess I am layered because God is showing me that I am complex, but He designed me that way so I am learning to accept that about myself.

    I think you would really like the book, The Gift of Being Yourself by David Benner because what you have been posting about really tracks what he says. Have a blessed weekend, Nikki 🙂

    • complex is a very good thing, Dolly! No wonder I never grow tired of you ; )
      And thank you for the book recommend! I’m going to see if my library has it — after I finish reading the other book you have given me, that is. Thank you!

  6. Thank God He loves us so much! We beat ourselves up enough. I would love to “get” the way He loves me. In my head I know He does. But, I want to know in my heart. Ya know? And it’s true what you’re saying. We have to get to know Him through us. Beautiful!

  7. Pingback: Chasing Silhouettes and a Prayer Request « simplystriving

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