Thank you so much for journeying through the act of waiting with me. It has been hard to write, possibly even hard to read, and it blesses me to know you’re striving. Just like me (you can catch up on the entire series HERE).
Today I get to share my favorite part. Waiting’s blessing. Joy discovered.
Waiting for me has been an exercise of trust. Of gut-believing that God knows me fully — better than I know myself and thus knows what is best for me and my family beyond what my vision can even grasp. When I succeed at realizing I’m ultimately blind to my own life’s path, there it is. There’s joy freely offered for me to grasp. And I get to choose. Will I pick it up, or will I opt to wallow in my own selfish pity.
I’ve struggled with knowing how to share this with you: The joy of waiting. I feel we all might have to do it our own way. I’m confident we can all obtain the same result, but how do I show what it looks like?
The only way I can come up with to describe it is to share my experience. Do you mind? If you’ll offer me grace, I’m going to try to share how waiting plays out for me in my everyday.
I wake out of breath. Searching to remember why I’m already in panic mode. Did I forget something? Am I late for something? Is my family okay? And suddenly I remember.
I have a question with no answer.
I don’t know what lies ahead.
I’m in waiting.
I peel back the curtains, letting the mercy of a new day pour into my room as I breathe deep into prayer.
Lord, here I am. Ready for a new day. I’m determined to bring You glory as I choose You. Over and above all I choose You. Help me to stay focused on You, Father. This journey of waiting has been hard, but I know it will be worth it. For my primary goal is to glorify You in all I do. Show me the way I should go, Lord. Reveal to me Your will. Renew my strength. Calm my heart as I look to You this day. May you find delight in me as I delight in You. Today is for You, Lord. Let’s make it count. Together.
And all day when the devil reminds me how clueless I am at planning my own life, I remind myself; I say it out loud if I have to, but I tell myself that God has it under control. I don’t need to know. As long as I hold onto Him, this journey will end on the right path. Regardless if it is the one I was planning on originally. No. I will find contentment in knowing it was God who led me here.
So I say it. Out loud. In writing. To my family and friends. To myself in the shower I proclaim it. I remind myself:
God is in control. He’s got this. I can let it go.
And I feel it. Right there in front of me I see it. Gifts of joy given to me while waiting:
- The light dappled through the trees, warming my face. It’s like a kiss of grace. God’s love shining down, right on me.
- My son inviting me to dance freely, confessing to me “Sometimes, mom, you just have to show how happy you are by moving and grooving.” And I laugh and throw caution to the wind, choosing to act on his joy. Thank You, Lord, for showing me what full submission feels like.
- And then I receive it. A personal sign that only means something to me. An encouragement that He hasn’t forgotten. He still has my best interest in mind. It’s like a hug from heaven.
Praise You, Father, that’s just what I needed to do this again tomorrow. I can do this. I can wait. I can follow Your lead.
If you keep me in tune to Your timing, Lord,
If you allow me to feel the beat of Your will,
Yes. I can do this. I can keep dancing.
Because “Sometimes we don’t fully see that in Christ,
because of Christ, through Christ,
He does give us all things good —
until we have the perspective of years.
In time, years, dust settles.
In memory, ages, God emerges.
Then when we look back, we see God’s back.”
(Ann Voskamp ~ One Thousand Gifts pg 156)
How about you? How do you find joy while waiting? I’d love to hear.
Thanks for sharing your time with me.