1. The act of remaining inactive or stationary. The act of delaying action until a particular time or until something else happens.
It was a bittersweet day.
Sweet because I was spending the entire day with the love of my life.
Bitter because deep down in the place we don’t like to talk about,
that’s how I was feeling.
It was the day of my next milestone. The one I’d been dreading. The day I turned 30.
You see, I wasn’t where I thought I’d be. No children in the foreseeable future. Still living in a town we originally assumed was a transitional stop for us. One I felt we were at while waiting on Him. And I was tired. Tired of the questions. Tired of not knowing. Tired of the waiting game.
So much so that I had stressed my body out. I was sure of it. After all, being late only happens when I’ve done that to myself. Oh, I assured my husband that’s all it was. Multiple tests had proved it. It was me just being silly. Overreacting to the act of waiting.
My husband did a wonderful job of listening to me, reminding me of what we had talked about so many times, and encouraging me to pray about it. Even still, in all his wisdom, we stopped by the drugstore on our way home. It was my birthday after all. And what else was he to do after I had poured out my heart and soul over fried mushrooms?
Friends, God spoke clearly to me that night. He changed my life. First with two lines that formed a positive. Then with words spoken directly to my heart.
“My child, who are you waiting for?”
And I realized. He had been saying this to me all along. It was just the first time He had my undivided attention.
You see, I had made the biggest, most common mistake with the waiting game.
I had taken the dictionary definition literally.
I had stayed still.
To the point where I had missed Him giving me directions.
I was where I was supposed to be in this earthly world, but I wasn’t where I was supposed to be in my relationship with Him, the world that matters most.
That night was nearly 5 years ago now. A lot has changed. Primarily my perspective. For when I look back at all the times I felt God telling me to wait, and observe the outcome, I see it.
God wasn’t telling me to sit still.
He was telling me to hold on tight.
He was inviting me to trust Him.
He was asking me to hope.
He was telling me I needed more time with Him first.
He was wanting me to find contentment without it.
He was offering me a refuge. A rest before the next journey.
As far as I’m concerned, Webster couldn’t be more wrong.
I believe, as Christians, we get to choose how we define waiting. Will we perceive it as a time of standing still, waiting idly by for God to move this mountain, or will we strive to meet Him in this place. To cling to Him, lean on Him with all we have and let Him carry us through this transition. For isn’t being near to Him all that matters anyway?
I’m striving to not make the same mistake. I never want to feel so apart from God again. And by His grace, I don’t have to. From now on, my definition of waiting will be:
1. The act of hoping in Him. The act of eagerly seeking Him until He blesses your next move.
Waiting. What a defining journey.
How about you? How do you define waiting? More importantly, how does waiting define you? I’d love to hear.
Next I’ll share the lessons I learned on waiting while turning to God’s Word. Will you join me?
Thanks for sharing your time with me.
Am linking this post up with Word-Filled Wednesdays at Internet Cafe Devotions as well as: